You Must Have Bad to Properly Enjoy the Good

So we've got two types of news to share today: bad and good. Which would you rather hear first? Of course. Let's start with the bad.

Bad News: Because I am an immigrant (which I talked about briefly in this post), I am required to be able to speak the French language. Not terrible news except... it requires that Mr. Fox and I live apart.

So next weekend I will effectively be moving in with mes beau parents (my inlaws) in order to take my intensive French lessons. I'll be French apprend-ing 4 days a week for 3 to 6 hours a day. It's definitely going to be intense! The schedule is set for 3 months but I only have to take it until I can pass the exam. Thus I'm populating my book arsenal with publications like this:

It's okay for learning the basics.  Be a dummy no more!

And this:

It's the French Grammar bible, baby!

I'm trying to make this stay as short as possible. Not that I don't love my inlaws, but I love my husband more. We worked über hard to be together. It's a huge slap in the face that after a mere 5 months together that we will have to be separated yet again. Back to phone calls, emails, and Skype. Back to sleeping alone. Back to no hugs when we are sad. Back to not being able to see him smile.

We are sad.

This face accurately depicts how we feel right now. 

Oh, but I promised some good news right? Okay, here it is:

Good News: In a few short months I will be able to speak French. This means that I will understand the basic conversation during family gatherings, I can order food at a restaurant, I will be able speak freely with the French guests at my wedding, and most importantly I will understand the ceremony as we are married.

It's not a complete loss.

We Must Sometimes Find Ourselves Humbled

Today, I found a new wedding blog called A Practical Wedding. It's cute, it's real, and I like it. Scrolling through the pages and voyeuristically enjoying other peoples' weddings, I stumbled upon this post: Is Marriage An Economic Privilege?

I read it. All the way through. And I cried a little. I read the original NYT article she referred to and was saddened by it. I know that story so well. The blog author's point of view of the article and back story are so close to my own. It's humbling to read what she wrote because I know that it is true: marriage is a luxury good.

It's true for me.

I feel humbled and again, I know I'm really a lucky girl.

My Head Must Have Adornments

To veil or not to veil. Someone has asked this question of me, in some form, several times thus far. I honestly have no clue. I have no strong feeling either way. Mostly I do not wear things in my hair. I wear it up,

Hair up.

I wear it down.

Hair down.

I have curly, crazy curly hair. I have a big head and my hair makes it even bigger. I love this style:

Diana Ross's hair is wild and free. Gorgeous hair all over the place. Source.

Though I don't have the moxie to rock wild every day, I usually let my hair roam free. So hair accessories are not something I'm accustomed to. Yes, I know. Not many people wear a veil every day and there are lots of options when it comes to bridal hair wear. But I'm completely undecided. I want to wear something that is completely me. Unfortunately, completely me equals big hair with no adornments, meaning no veil. 

My mother does not approve. 

So I'm testing the waters, doing my research, and trying on hair stuff. Yesterday, I tried on this neat hair thingy...

Gorgeousness! Source.

...and fell in love!!! It was sassy, it was comfy, it was super cute on my giant head. But, yes, it's black. And no, the wedding style in my head will not support black headwear. Back to the drawing board, better armed with the information that I apparently love the style of a birdcage veil.

You Must Have a Big, White Wedding?

How many reality shows can you see on TV depicting the ultimate, must have, to-die-for wedding? I don't watch TV, so I don't really know. (According to BridesTelevision.com there are 18.) What I do know is that once I got engaged and started asking others for advice and recommendations, people overwhelmingly recommended that I watch these shows. I had no real idea of the things that were expected of me, so I acquiesced.

Courtesy of TLC's website, I was able to spend several hours of a lovely Sunday afternoon watching "Say Yes to the Dress Big Bliss" since these brides were more like me in many, many ways. (More about the dresscapades later.) But one thing that really stayed with me was the cost of these things! So many of the girls went in there saying their dress budget was $3,000. I mean whoa! Yikes type expensive! So I talked this over with Mr. Fox, he too was really floored by the expense.

Mr. Fox: (scared and hesitant) Do you need to have a $3,000 dress? I mean it's only one day. A big, important day, but still only one day.

Me: (dubiously) Well, I don't nee-eed one, but wouldn't ree-eally be opposed to having one if we could ree-eally afford it.

Mr. Fox: (even more scared, almost in a whisper) Do you think we can afford it?

Me: (confidently) Of course not!

Mr. Fox breathed a sigh of relief. Every time I brought up a new bit of wedding-ness in the beginning of our planning, usually brought on by a recent perusal of wedding websites and such, he seemed to tense up and brace himself for the outflow of cash that would be required. However, though I find myself momentarily caught up in the whirlwind of Big, White Wedding Must Haves, I try to really parse out what is important and what is not and stay grounded. We do not need to spend $50,000 to be married. Mr. Fox is now able to relax about the spending since he's (relatively) sure I won't turn into a crazy Bridezilla.

I find it sad that in the end, for many people the wedding is more about the designer of the dress and the beauty of the centerpieces than the real reason we all get together: to celebrate the union of two people in love. This can be done over a bucket of chicken in the backyard of your house and still be as beautiful and meaningful as a super expensive Tiffany diamond-encrusted soiree. After all, you'll still be just as married and you'll also still be able to use your credit cards to buy another bucket next week!

Mmm, chicken!

Must Have A System of Organization

A wedding is a project by definition. It has a specific outcome. It has definite start and end points. It is temporary. It can be broken up into smaller tasks and deliverables. All the things that a Project Management Institute project is required to have in order to be a project.

The Project Manager's Bible.

I study Project Management. I'm halfway through a Masters program in Project Management. So I should be organized. Yup. Operative word: should.

My work area is usually a system of piles. I know what goes in each pile and why. I have no trouble finding what I need to find unless I've actually tried to be conventionally organized and put it away in a filing cabinet or something. So of course, I think I'm organized.

Enter wedding planning.

I knew from the start that I should simply treat the whole wedding planning thing as a simple project, no different from anything I've studied or completed at work. But I have the hardest time trying to fit this thing into that rigid project box because I am emotionally involved. So I freak out sometimes. There's no room in project management for freaking out.