Must Have a Visa to Enter

In this post I talked about how Mr. Fox and I made our decision to share a timezone, country, and residence. It was really difficult to decide who would jump the pond and leave their life behind because both of us had very promising careers at the time. But of course security came first, and Mr. Fox definitely had more security in his position than I did. My job was in the research field and was dependent on government funding... all of which is lessening as time goes by. The US government tends not to be very speculative when it comes to scientific research that does not produce hard-and-fast results... quickly. Unfortunately, fusion energy research does not meet that "quickly" requirement. No, my job was not in jeopardy per se, but if I had intended to stay my career path would have been severely limited as the more funding was cut.

But I didn't come here to offer an editorial about government funding... I came to talk about my visa nightmare. Which, of course, has a happy ending.

So after deciding that I was going to be the pond jumper and getting engaged, us Foxes did some pretty intensive research on how exactly to do this the legal way. You see, it wasn't going to be as easy as packing up, getting on a plane, and voila! If I intended to stay in Europe for more than 90 days, I needed a visa.

Our research led us to the long stay visitors' visa. It meant that I could hang out in France for up to one year. According to us, this should have been more than enough time to plan our wedding, get married, and get all settled in together. But thanks to recent reforms put into place by then president Sarkozy, I would have to clear some pretty intense hurdles before enjoying wedded bliss.

First, there were the extraordinary paperwork requirements found on the French Consulate of New York's website. Of course, it was required to present the originals plus one set of copies, all translated into French:

1. application (in French) plus passport photograph
2. valid passport (and copy of identity page, no translation necessary)
3. OFII form (in French)
4. documents proving you actually live in the US (i.e. paystubs for the last 3 months)
5. proof that you can afford to stay in France (i.e. bank statement or proof of income)
6. proof of lodging in France (because tents and park benches are not acceptable living quarters)
7. proof of medical insurance (with specific wording meaning that you are actually covered up to certain amounts while in France)
8. a letter of motivation (why are you going to come and be a loafer in our country for up to one year?)
9. a written attestation that you will not seek or accept paid employment while loafing in France

Heavy.

Most of the requirements were not terribly difficult. I had my own personal translator in Mr. Fox for the forms that were in French and was able to find a professional (read: accredited and certified) translator through the Consulate website (here). We had a few hiccups with the proof of lodging since I would be officially staying with Papa and Maman Fox and I would not be able to provide a lease agreement. The answer to that was to get an attestation from Papa Fox that I would be welcomed into their home and then provide proof that they owned the home. That was the other hiccup. They had their house built many, many years ago and did not have a property deed or anything like that (things were simpler back then... and actually continue to stay simpler than the US). Tax forms did not cut it, so the Elders Fox had to consult their notaire (kind of a lawyer, more of a solicitor (definitions 2 and 3)) in order to get a legal document made up stating that they actually owned their home. Not terribly difficult, just something unforeseen that had to be done.

Additionally, since I would be leaving my job, I would no longer have health insurance. Mr. Fox to the rescue again! He had previously used a travel insurance company called April International to insure his many voyages across the Atlantic and they also provided the exact coverage someone like me would need.

Armed with all my completed documents, translations, and copies painstakingly organized with paper clips and post-it notes, I nervously went to my appointment at the French Consulate of New York's Visa Office... juste a côté de Central Park. (Those fancy, fancy French!)

Location, Location, Must Have Location

So in this post I discussed the painstaking decision making process Mr. Fox and I went through in order to choose on which side of the Atlantic we would be celebrating our union. Unfortunately, cash flow and convenience were the ultimate criteria determining the location. Weddings are already crazy expensive, so if we were going to be spending oodles of money it should be convenient for us, right???

Thus, Montargis, France is the place where Mr. Fox and I will complete the journey to becoming The Foxes for life. It's the hometown of Mr. Fox, and both his mother and father were born there. It's a quaint little French town, about 100 miles south of Paris with roughly 20,000 residents. And it is utterly adorable.

Canal in Montargis, France. I can't say no to that!

But of course we had another challenge presented to us with this pick: there are precious few locations in the region to host a party the size of ours. After all the children and partners were added to the invitee list, we had a grand total of 152 eating, drinking, laughing, loving souls (including us). It's a pretty big party. So our venue search began.

The parents of Mr. Fox are retired (thanks to lovely French laws) and super helpful. I'm sure they started looking for wedding venues once they were informed that we were discussing marriage. They are really excited. *big smile* Papa and Maman Fox had a list of venues for us to visit upon my arrival as Newly Expatriated Fox back in October.

Act I: The Normality of Pannes

We visited the first location in Pannes, France suggested by Maman Fox because she had previously attended a wedding held there. The place was cute, but nothing special. It was the type of space that would host the local children's choir recital or the volunteer firefighter's fundraiser:

Salle de fêtes in Pannes. Complete with stage and heavy, red velvet curtain. Cute, no?

Though the place came complete with tables and chairs (at no additional cost), I just couldn't see myself asking my guests to travel countless hours across the world to sit for hours in these:

Creepy plastic chairs. Photo is appropriately shadowed and blurry to convey the discomfort my butt felt at the prospect of spending a large amount of time crammed into such a thing.

The price was right, but the venue was not. When I saw the place, my first thought was that this place was not special. Cute, but not special. If I was going to put my loved ones through the hassle of international travel I wanted them to have an experience. This cute little space could have been in Anywhere, USA for all the pictures would show.

Plus, I needed something more. I needed something French.

Act II: Finding something typically French

I never really dreamed about France before actually setting foot in Europe. But once there, I found it romantic. I find it dramatic. I feel its passion.

So I wanted something that was romantic, dramatic, and passionate. I mean, I'm getting married in France. Normal banquet hall was not going to cut it.

I wanted a château.

Château de Sully-sur-Loire. Real castle. It's even got a moat. Source.

But the Loiret region is a bit short on châteaus for normal people to rent. It's full of the châteaus that are actually castles. And those are sooooo not in the budget.

Château de Chamerolles in Chilleurs-aux-Bois. It's now a perfume museum. Source.

One of the Foxy aunties came to the rescue. She found this:

Vintage postcard of the Château de la Fontaine. Source.

I was in love.

I had to have it. We made an appointment straightaway to visit. And let me tell you...

It is as good in real life as it is on that gorgeous postcard from the past.

But there were a few snags: 

1. Our party was too big to actually use the château itself so we had to settle for the ecuries (stables). It's not as bad as it sounds:

Horses used to sleep here. They were lucky horses.

Inside... Cleans up nice, doesn't she? Source.

2. The venue was booked. Really, really booked. We wanted to have our religious ceremony as close to the date of our Civil Union as possible. Unfortunately, this was not possible. The dates available to us in 2012 were the first weekend in April, one weekend mid-August, the end of September, and most of October. Of course, if we were patient enough to wait for 2013 we could have almost any date we wanted.

But I had to have it.

And it had to be in 2012.

Of course, she was a bit out of budget, but I was compelled. There were too many pluses. She fit the bill so well! And we would be able to have the entire property to ourselves for the entire weekend. It comes complete with a little house for children to play and sleep in (for those who cannot hang the whole night). It has two guest houses that can accommodate up to 24 persons, complete with kitchens. It had copious amounts of parking. 

And plus, we can always spend a little less on flowers and decorations to try to make up the difference.

So after much discussion with Mr. Fox, we went for it! We decided to take a weekend in mid-October and hope for good weather so we could enjoy the whole area. 

Château de la Fontaine was just too good to pass up!!!

Vous Devez Faire Connaissance

Translation: You Must Get Acquainted

Since the age of 18 I have been sort of a nomad. I left my family, friends and all that I knew in Colorado and ran far, far away to attend college in Washington, DC. During the years I was in DC, I moved yearly from dorm to dorm as the Office of Residence Life (aka Housing) dictated, my poorly forwarded mail trying to keep up. After a bit of a breakdown, I decided that I had had enough of college and returned to my beloved mountains for a summer that turned into 2 years. When I had had enough of my "break" (I like to refer to it as My Sabbatical in order to downplay the fact that I randomly dropped out for 2 years) I went back to DC to finish school. Once I received my degree I moved to New Jersey for a job. That job took me all over the country and eventually to Germany, where I met Mr. Fox (go, go frequent flyer miles!). And now I am with my Foxy man in Europe... continuing the nomadism together.

Of course in between all the packing and taping and storing of stuff I managed to make some friends. Lots of them. And in spite of my tendency to be a wandering star, some of them stuck.

But through this constant moving around I have realized that I am terrible at keeping in touch with people (which I wrote about here). e.g. I'll get an email or a card or (long ago) a letter and I'd read it and smile and feel all warm and loved inside. Then I'd make a mental note to respond in kind.

And then I'd forget.

But since I keep everything... I'd run across said item months or years later and feel guilty for not responding and then make another mental note to write the person-in-question and play catch up.

And of course I'd forget again.

However, some of these people still love me and so I invited them to the wedding.

I invited friends from all the different stages in my life. Plenty of them will not make it because it is expensive. Several of them will. And for those that will, it's obvious but...

They may not know anyone else besides me.

Nobody really wants to be the party loner at a wedding. Source.

So actually I have realized that for some this will also be a deterrent.


Enter Facebook.

Blah, blah, blah Facebook. Source.

I hate Facebook. It has not made me better at sharing, it has made me worse (damned lack of privacy). But now is not the time to rant about social media, it is the time to embrace and celebrate it. Because, guess what?

Lots of the friends that still love me are on the dreaded FB. So I created an event for them to be able to virtually meet each other and network for finding travel and party buddies. Sometimes I'm clever.

Social media to the rescue, right?

Ideas Must Have A Birthplace

Currently, I am in France with my in-laws, learning French and being away from Mr. Fox (I whined talked about this here, and here, and here). Recently, I was in Orléans completing my full day French civic training or la formation civique where I got the in-a-nutshell version of French history and was introduced to the French constitution and civil rights documents. It was heavy. I also am taking French lessons for 3 hours a day, 4 days per week in order to prepare for the DILF A1.1 exam in June. Aside from all that, I have no regular contact with anyone who speaks English with any fluency.

Needless to say, I am distracted.

But distraction cannot stop me for I have less than 6 months to get all this wedding stuff together. Yet, in spite of the need for speed, I am plumb out of ideas. Well, this is not true. Actually the problem is that my ideation process is interrupted by, well, French. So I decided that I should take this French thing by the horns and use it to my advantage.

Enter: French bridal magazines.

My collection of French Bridal magazines. Please ignore the rumpled comforter underneath. I've been busy.

Malheureusement, or unfortunately, my level of French isn't good enough to really understand the lovely articles inside. However, pictures speak a universal language. So I flipped through each one of these lovely periodicals and tore out the pages containing pictures that I found inspiring. Afterward, I took my handy dandy hole puncher and punched! some! holes! in said inspiring pics and put them in my wedding binder (which I fought against starting for so long).

So now I've got a bunch more ideas. Which is good. Yet...

I really need to focus on invitations now.

(insert the procrastinator's theme here... oh wait, they didn't make one yet)

Must Have: Creativity Envy

I am in France, learning French, supposedly 4 days a week for 3 hours a day, 9am to 12pm. Unfortunately, the teacher has interviews to conduct on 2 Tuesday mornings of every month, so that means I am left with an extra day off twice a month. Today is one of those extra days. And what do I do with my borrowed time, you may (or may not) ask?

I cruise the internet, aimlessly wandering from idea to idea.

But of course it's all wedding related, right?

Sure it is!

So this morning I stumbled upon yet *another* super adorable wedding. But though the wedding was cute and I liked it a lot, the real crush envy that I am feeling is for the following video Save-the-Date:

I especially love the story of this couple since I can sympathize. Mr. Fox and I also spent a dreadedly difficult period in a loooong distance relationship. (Though not as LD as Singapore to the US. Hats off to Steve and Sheralyn for making their long LDR work!)

This chick spent an awesome amount of time creating this fantastic piece of lovely. I so wish I had the fantastic creativity (and cotton ball stash) to do something so freaking cool!