The LDR Must Have Gotten Out of Hand

Mr. Fox and I suffered through a long distance relationship for a year and a half. It was terrifically hard. Due to some of the fantastic bennies he's got with his job and an uncanny skill for thrift, added to a lucky business trip for me, and we were able to visit each other every 2 to 3 months.

Roaming the streets of Dordogne, France. August 2010.

Our 6th Monthaversary (October 2010) in Princeton, NJ.

In an elevator in Munich, Germany. May 2011.

Sunset over the Isle of Capri from Massa Lubrense, Italy. August 2011.

Ok, so the ridiculous picture show up above didn't accurately show every 2 to 3 months, but at least you get the idea. For us, getting on the plane to go back to reality just became increasingly harder with time. We actually reached the end of our ability-to-be-super-far-apart rope in early 2011. Being apart had become excruciating. 

So we had to make a big decision: Does he come to the US or do I go to Europe? 

Being the super organized engineer that he is, Mr. Fox made a spreadsheet with a list of the pros and cons of each option. (Being the emotional mess that I can be, I chatted the ears off my besties.) We then commenced to have a very long and difficult debate. Though the P/C list was virtually complete because Mr. Fox is super thorough, it was really hard to choose. How do you make such a choice? Both of us were in the midst of very promising careers, though mine was a few years behind his. Either way, one of us would be an immigrant with all the paperwork that follows. When considering the financial portion of the move, it seemed to be smarter to be sure we were both able to be working. Of course, language barriers had to be considered as well. In the end, Mr. Fox coming to the US was the best option... at the time.

Now that the decision had been made, Mr. Fox launched his second job: hunting for employment in the PA/NJ/NY region during one of the lowest points in the Recession. Ouch. It was not good. Mr. Fox got nothing. No interest. No emails. No responses. Nothing. It was very, very disheartening. He weathered the storm of nothingness for six months before we decided this tree would bear no fruit. So we had to go to Plan B.

Unfortunately, Plan B was a toughie. You see, it involved me moving to another country for a man. It didn't matter that this man was completely wonderful, perfect for me, loved me and was able to put in the work to show it. It mattered that I understood how fleeting these things are. It mattered that I didn't want to throw everything away for the idea of a future. It mattered that I wanted needed security.  

I needed a tangible promise. I needed a ring.

So Plan B didn't start off so well. You could say that I was unreasonable, or emotional, or bossy, or whatever, but the thing is that since I left my childhood home, I have never let my future be defined by another person. I have refused to let others hold me back. I would not be one of those girls that lost her head and everything else for love because, you see, I had quite a lot to lose. Not that Mr. Fox didn't, but his rebound would be much easier. His parachute was packed quite well.

I think Mr. Fox understood this. His actions said he did because, soon after, we began planning our engagement.

Was I unreasonable?